How Do You Really Love Yourself, According to Therapists?

It may just mean accepting yourself.

Advice on how to love ourselves is ubiquitous these days. Especially when surfing social media, you can see a lot of untrue advice that ignores the complex reasons for struggling with self-worth. This is called "toxic positivity". If you've watched Euphoria, remember that in the second episode of the second season, they handled this concept wonderfully.

After all, the importance of self-love may seem oversimplified, but most mental health professionals will tell you that being kinder to yourself in one way or another is important for both mental well-being and health. However, several factors can make this simple-sounding action easy to say-difficult to do.

If you're in this post, you might get some support in the area of ​​self-love. In this regard, therapists have practical tips on how to truly love yourself. Here are some of them.

Think of self-love as a practice, not a destination

There is no finish line you have to cross when you truly love yourself. Self-love is neither fixed nor permanent. We often define love in a fairy-tale sense where everything has to be perfect, and then we apply the same pressure to self-love; however, this is not realistic at all.

We don't have to love everything about ourselves, and some days it may be easier to do that than others. So don't expect to develop new thought patterns overnight: Like any habit, self-love and acceptance takes practice.

Know that you don't have to love your reality to love yourself

Think of your close friends and family members who loved you when you were at your worst, most unsuccessful self. Now ask yourself if you would treat yourself the same way. We love our friends and family despite their faults, but for most of us it is very difficult to love our imperfect selves.

When we realize that perfection is not a prerequisite for being loved by others or loving yourself, we can begin to accept ourselves and perhaps eventually love ourselves.

Challenge your negative mental narrative by sticking to the facts

Buddhists describe pain as two arrows. The first arrow is the unfortunate event that happens to us and causes us pain beyond our control. The second arrow is the story we tell ourselves about this event, this suffering happens on its own. We can say that loving ourselves is not shooting ourselves with that second arrow.

To illustrate with a simple example, the first arrow could be when a loved one dies from COVID-19. The second arrow is to think that if you had persuaded him to go to the doctor or get vaccinated earlier, he would not have died. A situation can certainly be emotionally painful, but the story we tell ourselves about it is often far from the truth.

If you notice that you are developing other negative thoughts about a painful event, try to look at the facts. Is there any evidence against these thoughts? Is there anything that makes things seem less bleak? By doing this you are not denying the truth, instead you are considering everything that exists at the same time.

Remember that loving yourself is a worthwhile pursuit.

As we mentioned earlier, social media posts can make self-love appear superficial and even toxic. But if you define self-love as an acceptance of who you are and a commitment to personal growth, it has the potential to impact your life profoundly.

Loving yourself is not just standing still and never contributing to the world. In fact, it is the best foundation for having a loving, healthy relationship with another person.