How To Develop Overall Character Of Boundless Childs

 How To Develop Overall Character Of Boundless Childs :

Most parents do not intentionally spoil their children. Over time, it happens gradually: you give in to whining, you let things get done, you buy more toys and sweets than you need. However, there are some ways to start teaching your child to be happy for what he has, to behave decently, and to work for what he wants. First you need to change old habits. Be the adult, teach your child to be grateful and take responsibility.

How To Develop Overall Character Of Boundless Childs

Part  1:  Changing Old Habits

Identify spoiled behaviors. Does your child have frequent tantrums or even kickbacks, or does he say mean things to get what he wants? Does it bother you again after you said 'no' to something? Does he never say 'please' or 'thank you' for anything? All these symptoms are signs of spoiled behavior.

  • Ask yourself how you might be contributing to your child's spoiled behavior. There are many factors you should consider, such as:

  • Are you afraid to say no to your child? Why? What happens when you say no?

  • Do you think that you often accepted things for her sake that you knew you shouldn't have accepted?

  • Do you set a rule, give an instruction or a punishment, and then step back when your child reacts negatively to them?

  • Do you often buy your child gifts that they don't really need? Are the gifts you receive excessive? Is your child used to this kind of behavior?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you likely contributed to your child's spoiled behavior. Your child has learned that you don't like saying no to him, that you are not consistent with rules and instructions, that he doesn't need to do anything special or even be nice to get what he wants.

Break the cycle of saying "yes" where you should have said "no". It is simple, but a habit that is extremely difficult to change. It is easier to give in to demands and avoid tantrums. In this case, however, your child learns that the decision-making power is in himself, not in the adults.

When you start saying "no" be prepared for a huge backlash. It's normal, but if you give in to pleadings, tantrums, or whining, the reaction will escalate and it will go all the way down.

Once your children start to hear the word "no", they will gradually get used to it. It is a fact of life, one cannot have everything, you will either teach this to your child or he will go out into the world and experience much more difficult times.

Avoid giving lengthy explanations for saying no. You have the say. There's nothing wrong with a short explanation, but don't get into long arguments. Otherwise, you will give the impression that you are trying to persuade the child rather than informing your decision.

For example, there is no way to convince a young child that he shouldn't have ice cream for dinner. So don't bother.

If you have a good reason for your decisions and you don't change them, your kids will really respect you and what you say.

Adapt with your child . This can be difficult for overworked parents, but learning the ways and rules of caregivers can be important for correcting a spoiled child. If you've built a relationship with your child without providing solid interpersonal communication, healthy boundaries, and proper role definitions, it's time to address this issue.

If you have a caregiver who doesn't set or enforce any rules while caring for your child, you should address this issue with the caregiver. What you want from them (and you are probably paying for) is to look after your child while you work and essentially be a representative of authority. This requires an effort by them. You will not want the person you entrust your child to be lazy and unruly.

Do you know what your child is doing in his room, even when the whole family is at home? Do you check to find out once in a while? Does he have his own TV and video games in his room, does he start watching TV or playing games without permission? Consider moving the TV and video to a shared family room.

Does your child leave the house without your permission and play with neighbor children? If he is doing this, you need to stop such behavior immediately because it shows that he has no respect for you as a representative of authority. He can also be really dangerous for himself. A parent should always know where their child is physically.

Start bargaining cleverly. Whenever your child wants something from you, ask him to do something for you. Whether she wants to go and play with the neighbor or play a video game, instead of saying "okay, okay", ask her to tidy her room or help with the dishes or take out the trash.

Prioritize family time. One of the biggest reasons kids get spoiled is the guilt parents feel for not spending as much time with their kids as they should. On the one hand, your work, on the other hand, the activities that the child participates in (football, basketball, etc.) and everyone's social life... It can be difficult to eat even a simple dinner together as a family.

Whatever you do, you have to create a time where you can be with your children, whether it's eating together or just chatting in a relaxed atmosphere. Your children should also spend time with their extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins). Remember: jobs, activities, and friends exist today and not tomorrow, but family relationships are permanent for life.

How To Develop Overall Character Of Boundless Childs

Part  2:  Being an Adult

Set limits.

 Introduce your child or children to the rules of family life: rules, expectations, chores, etc.

The subject of who sets these rules should be very clear and unambiguous. You are the adult and you are helping everyone become better. Rules allow everyone to learn what should and should not be. Explain that children are not required to like the rules, but are expected to follow them.

Create clear and simple expectations. Determine when and how. Your child needs to know exactly what to expect. For example, "when you change clothes, I want you to throw them in the basket instead of on the floor" and "when you're done with a toy, I want you to put it back first and then take out a new one." You should always speak as decisively as possible.

Be consistent.

 Once you make the rules, stick to them. If you don't, your child learns that you can be successfully challenged, ignored, and negotiated with you.

Don't change your mind.

 If you said "one cookie," don't start to think that the second one isn't too bad either. Stick to what you first said. Even if you think two cookies aren't such a big deal, kids may start to object to everything else.

When a rule is broken, it must have consequences (no unnecessary arguments). For example, if your child was warned to clean his room but did not, simply follow the penalty.

Avoid empty threats.

 Do not threaten to impose punishments that you cannot deliver or carry through. Over time, your child sees your bluff and believes that you will not follow any results.

If you are not quite sure what the appropriate punishment is for a particular behaviour, say that you will think about the outcome. The penalty must be in line with the misdemeanor. For example, if your child spends too much time with their iPad and neglects their homework, confiscate the iPad until you see an improvement in schoolwork.

Don't give in to whining, complaining, or pleading. Once you've said "no" to something or punished a certain behavior, don't go back on your decision. Maintain your composure; even if your child is making a fuss. If you never surrender, your child will learn that these tactics no longer work.

This attitude in a public place can be embarrassing and overwhelming, but it's still better than giving in to bad behavior. If you have to, leave the place you are and deal with the child at home.

Involve other authority figures.

 Make sure you are on the same side as your spouse and keep grandparents, babysitters and other caregivers aware of your work. It is important that these people do not sabotage your efforts by giving in to excessive whining, ignoring bad behavior, or flooding your child with gifts.

How To Develop Overall Character Of Boundless Childs

Part 3:  Teaching Tolerance and Responsibility

Teaching kindness words. "Please" and "thank you" are must-have words in your child's growing vocabulary. If his tongue is not used to them, it is never too late to start. The simplest way to teach a child these words is to use them yourself.

"Collect your room immediately!" instead, "You need to tidy your room, please." Say it.

To encourage your child to say thank you when they are given something, guide, "What do you say now?"

Get help from the other parent, too. If you've prepared dinner, ask your spouse to say things like, "Well done, thank you for this meal… What will you say, kids, for this meal?"

Set house rules for the whole family. It is considered natural to pick up after children when they are very young. But teach your child self-sufficiency as early as possible and emphasize that every member of the family should contribute to the peace and success of the home.

You can start by teaching your child to pick up their toys after play and add other expectations as they get older.

Be a role model. You can't expect your child to be hardworking if you don't work hard yourself. Make sure your child sees you at work and knows that you often do chores and other chores, even when you prefer to do other things.

Be courteous in public places. Say "please" and "thank you" to shop workers when buying something, and to those serving in restaurants when ordering food. If you accidentally bump into or interrupt someone on the way, say "sorry".

Do household chores together. Bigger chores, such as cleaning his room or washing the dishes after dinner – may be chores that kids just can't handle. So work together; At least in the early days... Also, you'll have the opportunity to teach him how to do things right. Children also feel more comfortable and capable.

Make a homework schedule. If you study by following a certain program, you are more likely to complete them successfully. Children also tend to complain less. For example, when they realize that they are always expected to clean their rooms on Sundays.

Also, teach children that chores should be done before pleasant chores. If they have a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled that day, but if the neighbor's son calls and says, "Come, let's hang out, let's play ball," they should finish their work first and then they can go out and play.

Teach patience. Most children struggle patiently, but they will be more successful in life if they learn that they have to wait and/or work for their reward. Teach your child that you can't always get everything they want right away.

It may be helpful to involve your child in planning something desirable. For example, a trip; First, explain to your child that you will need to save a certain amount of money. Especially underline that this trip will be completely enjoyable because you are waiting and planning the trip.

Let your child witness that you can't get everything you want instantly. If you're shopping, for example, if you see a pair of jeans you like and you think you shouldn't buy them, say, "Maybe I should wait for it to go on sale, I still have trousers at home that are in good condition." say.

Focus on spiritual rewards. Regardless of your budget, it is better not to buy your child everything they want. Especially try not to reward good behaviour with material objects only. Instead, do something fun with your child.

Reward with encouragement rather than gifts. Let's say your son played very well in a football game. Tell him how proud you are of him that you are going to buy him a gift. If your child brings home an excellent report card, tell him you're extremely proud of him instead of buying him something new. Hug her and offer to take her to the movies or go for a bike ride together.

Teach your child to work for certain things . If your child is particularly tempted to buy an unnecessary item of monetary value, turn this into an opportunity to teach him the value of money. Help him earn and save money by doing chores. You can tell him to save some of the money for more expensive things and do the rest when you can.

Listen to complaints about what other children have and do . When your child starts saying "but other kids have this" or "but my friends don't have to" tell your child to follow their own family's rules. Emphasize that you do what you believe is best, and remind him that he should be content because a lot of kids have much less than he does.

Don't apologize for setting boundaries and saying no. Don't apologize if you can't get something for your child because your budget doesn't allow it. Just tell the truth: "I would love to get this for you, but I can't. Maybe I can get it on a special day like your birthday." Or talk to your kids about the possibility of saving up for what they want.

Do not apologize for giving a predetermined punishment for bad behaviour. It's part of life that a mistake has consequences, and your child needs to learn that he or she can't always act arbitrarily. Now obeying the rules of the house will teach him to follow the rules at work and to obey the law when he is an adult.

Save the apology for when you really did something wrong (for example, you suddenly got angry and felt bad). it's not wrong to say "no"; It's part of being a parent.

How To Develop Overall Character Of Boundless Childs

Review the good things in your life together. Even if you are not from a religious and religious family, there is no harm in voicing things to be thankful for out loud. Children tend to talk about their toys at first, but encourage them to talk about each other, the pets in the house, their health, having a home to sleep in, and good food they have.

Volunteer to help those less fortunate than you. Investigate whether you can volunteer at an animal shelter, homeless shelter or places where food and goods are distributed to people in need for free. Make a list and collect donations of goods, food, etc. to help people or animals in need. Helping will make your children feel good and will also make them appreciate what is in their hands.


Disciplining a spoiled child is a slow process. It takes time to pamper a child, and it will take time to teach him new values ​​and better manners.

Most children have a natural predisposition and drive to help and show compassion to others. Nurture and develop these impulses by emphasizing the joys of pleasing others.

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